If you know me, you probably know that for round about two years, I’ve been pining for this guy. You might have heard me gush about him. You might have noticed not-so-vague references to him in that blog about the show I’m doing right now and even at least once in this blog. I might have annoyed you with my near-constant sighs of longing. I hope not, but I’m sure it’s true of some of you. You’ve all contributed your opinions on what action I should take with regard to said guy, and here is a great chunk of that advice:
Grandma: Just tell him, “Hey, I like you. Let’s do something.” (Protests of “But I’m too shy” are ineffective in resisting the idea of this approach. Apparently, I just need to come out of my shell so that I can have a love life so that I can get married so that she can have more grandbabies to love on.)
Gram: (Essentially the same as Grandma but more adamant since she is subject to the aforementioned sighs of longing far more frequently than Grandma is by virtue of proximity)
Matt: Be bold and confident!
Mother: (Gram & Grandma combined times twelve. As my mother, she is the primary confidante and as such, has been listening to my often pathetic pining for all of those nearly two years.)
Michael: (in a terrible paraphrase of what was actually said over the course of a conversation via Facebook chat) I can’t woo the girl I’m crazy about because I’m over here in [country] so don’t let opportunity pass you by. Don’t you remember that thing you said back in college? I remember it. You said that the thing you keep coming back to is the thing you’re meant to move toward in life. (Me: I said that?) Yes, you did. So stop being so shy and ask him out!
Julia: Hold out and let him ask you! Wait, it’s been two years? Wow . . .
Jamie: You have to be very straightforward with [guy]. (Me: So I should just say “Let’s get married and make babies”?) Well, if that’s the goal . . . (and on a separate occasion; paraphrased) Man up and ask him out. (among other specific advice about [guy])
Annie: Ask him to dinner. Do something.
Gael: You want him to pursue you, don’t you? (Me: Yes, I do!) So who’s going to tell him to ask you out?
Dad: Do I need to have a talk with him? Do I need to get the boyfriend application ready? (Me: No, Dad. You’ve never needed it in the past. I doubt you need it now.)
Grandpa: I know there’s somebody out there for you, but there might not be, and you need to be prepared for that.
Ilana: (on multiple occasions) Let him pursue you. (among other advice) Do I need to send him a message on facebook? (Me: Don’t you dare!)
Darian: Just ask him out. Stop being so old-fashioned.
Ryan: (unaware of how applicable his words are in this situation and quite possibly unaware of the situation altogether; this comment was actually in reference to a bizarre scene at the end of the 1957 television broadcast of Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella wherein the Fairy Godmother tried to get Cinderella arrested – watch it; it’s quite comical) How many people do you know who wish and wish and then opportunity presents itself and they're too shy or too self-loathing or too lazy to seize it. I know a lot of people like that, and I'd want to throw them in jail too! (Me: Yeah, I want to throw myself in jail sometimes for being shy and self-loathing . . .)
Pete: (Tons of wise things about managing expectations and not feeling too let down about a forgotten post-show dessert)
Lisa: You're still talking about him? Oh, roomie . . .
You’re all wonderful. Thank you for putting up with my daydreams and ramblings, even when I’m annoying, redundant and delusional. I appreciate you. J
Micah - I assume that you and this special guy are involved in common activities - dancing? theater? the symphony? the museum? church? If so, find/create a reason for the two of you to work together on something in your common interest - preferably something that will take several sessions to complete. At the end of the first session, assuming that things went OK and he still seems pretty special, thank him for taking the time to work together and tell him how much you enjoyed working with HIM, and how much you are looking forward to the next time. No pretense, just be your usual sweet self. Repeat as necessary. After the second or third time, maybe ask if he would like to go out for a cup of coffee or something after you finish. And if all else fails, set your fears aside and just ask him out! Keep smiling..... :-)))
ReplyDeleteThank you for your wise words and for taking the time to write them. There is, in fact, a project that would be quite perfect, if only I didn't feel like I was being so forward in suggesting it. Thank you again! Hope you and Miss Berta are well. :)
ReplyDeleteMicah - Any update on the "special guy" situation? I understand about feeling like you are being forward, and that it is probably contrary to what you are most comfortable with, but isn't it worth the risk to potentially develop a relationship with someone you think so highly of? Perhaps time to embrace the "Micah" and minimize the "Mouse"? Regardless of the outcome, you will still be the same sweet wonderful young woman you've always been. Good luck. Be brave. Keep smiling so they will wonder what you are up to!!
ReplyDeleteHa ha. Nothing has changed. We have, in fact, been working together on something all summer, along with 30 other people, and it hasn't left much time for anything else, what with my day job and all. With no hint from him that he might be interested in pursuing something beyond friendship, I am greatly hesitant to push the issue. Compounding the reluctance is the fact that we work together on a weekly basis throughout the year. Of course, all of these deterrents would be negated by his reciprocating my interest. Excuses, excuses, I know, but the mouse seems to rule when it comes to him. Thanks again for your encouraging words. I'm nearly always smiling. :)
ReplyDeleteIf he is not showing any indication of wanting to pursue anything other than friendship, then you are right not to "push". Poor lad, just doesn't know what he is missing! I didn't mean to suggest that you should be someone you are not, or behave in a way that you aren't comfortable with - you should always be genuine (but of course you already knew that!). I was only suggesting that you not let your shyness take control to the detriment of letting your true personality shine through. Break a leg in your current production. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteThanks! The show opens tonight, and it is going to be fabulous! :)
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