Are there 28 things I should do instead of getting engaged/married before I turn 28?

All the rage lately are these lists of "[Number] of Things to Do Instead of Getting Married at [Age, which is the same as Number]" or some variation thereon. At least two (three) of these posts emerged in response to this one. I'm not sure why some folks of my generation decry marriage as the end of life. (Maybe it's Timon's fault...) On the other hand, I'm not sure why others think life doesn't begin until you're in a stable, committed relationship. I don't hold to either of these ideas.

Coming up on 28, I've had a pretty good run so far. I won't regale you with a list of my accomplishments to date because, well, I'm not a high school student applying to college. (And who wants to read that anyway?) Neither will I deny that I haven't accomplished everything I hope to do in my lifetime, and I'm certainly not married yet. I hope marriage is a part of that lifetime sometime, but I'm not going to stop living now just because it's now a part of my life right now. (For the record, I also don't plan to stop living once I do marry, whenever (if) that happens.)

The blogs I mention read kind of like bucket lists at times, but this isn't one of those. For lack of a better term, these are some of my New Year's Resolutions. (A friend of mine resolved not to make any resolutions because this time of year isn't good for his resolve.) My list of resolutions includes a host of what I'll call "life fixes". (I don't have a better name for them right now. Do you have any ideas?) Instead of setting concrete goals, although I have those as well, I resolve to make choices and develop habits to improve my overall being.

*Connect more with the people in my life. Write monthly to the children I sponsor. Exchange letters with friends. Call my family more.

*Celebrate happiness. Last year, I had a happiness bucket for a hot minute. Now I have a happiness wall.
2.27 update: My sticky notes didn't stick to the wall. It's a happiness vase now. It's working:

Look at all that happiness in just two months!

*Be less critical when criticism is unasked or not constructive. This is particularly in relation to criticism from a distance, criticism of people I don't know, and criticism to make myself feel superior. (Hello, character flaw! Let's root you out!)

*Compliment others generously (and genuinely).

*Invest in people's lives. Ask how things are going. Follow up about projects, transitions, etc. Be present!

*Spend less time comparing my happiness/success with that of others.

Basically, it's all about being a decent, loving human being to myself and to the rest of humanity. If you're present in my life, I hope you'll hold me accountable. If we're not connected on a personal level, I hope you find something in this list worth applying to your own life. If you're inspired, I hope you'll connect through the comments and share your own "life fixes".

Whatever your marital status, age, or number of things to do,

here's to being present in 2014! I'm glad I'm here with you.

At 27, I went kayaking for the first time!
[with Sarah and Ryan (and also Mallory, who is taking the picture)]

FREE BOOKS!

Hi friends!

On October 15th, the local library will start accepting donations again. Until then, here are the titles from my library to which I'll be bidding farewell. Some of them I've read; others have been sitting collecting dust (and being packed and unpacked in various moves) since I acquired them.

If you'd like any of these, let me know, and we can work out how to get it/them to you. On October 15th, whatever is left will go to the library. (Yes, I know about PaperbackSwap. If you don't, you should.)

Seriously. Free books!

Watership Down (Richard Adams)

How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents (Julia Alvarez)

Speak (Laurie Halse Anderson)

Weetzie Bat (Francesca Lia Block)

Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury)

The Land that Time Forgot (Edgar Rice Burroughs)

My Antonia (Willa Cather)

The Professor's House (Willa Cather)

The Quilter's Kitchen (Jennifer Chiaverini)

A Pair of Silk Stockings and Other Stories (Kate Chopin)

Gigi and The Cat (Colette)

Seventeenth Summer (Maureen Daly)

The Origin of Species (Charles Darwin)

Nicholas Nickleby (Charles Dickens)

The Old Curiosity Shop (Charles Dickens)

The Pickwick Papers (Charles Dickens)

Sister Carrie (Theodore Dreiser)

Too Great a Lady (Amanda Elyot)

The Sound and the Fury (William Faulkner)

Devil's Food Cake Murder (Joanne Fluke)

Where Angels Fear to Tread (E.M. Forster)

Five Sisters: The Langhornes of Virginia (James Fox)

Mary Called Magdalene (Margaret George)

Herland (Charlotte Perkins Gilman)

Lord of the Flies (William Golding)

On Reflection: An Autobiography (Helen Hayes)

The Old Man and the Sea (Ernest Hemingway)

Mules and Men (Zora Neale Hurston)

The Turn of the Screw and Other Short Novels (Henry James)

13 Little Blue Envelopes (Maureen Johnson)

Bluebird, or the Invention of Happiness (Sheila Kohler)

The Red Queen's Daughter (Jacqueline Kolosov)

You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant (Jeff Koon & Andy Powell)

Hector and the Search for Happiness (Francois Lelord)

A Swiftly Tilting Planet (Madeleine L'Engle)

Mandie and the Secret Tunnel (Lois Gladys Leppard)

Mandie and the Trunk's Secret (Lois Gladys Leppard)

Mandie and the Hidden Treasure (Lois Gladys Leppard)

Perspectives on the Jack Tales and Other North American Märchen (Carl Lindahl, ed.)

Jack in Two Worlds: Contemporary North American Tales & Their Tellers (William Bernard McCarthy, ed.)

Morgan's Run (Colleen McCullough)

Sula (Toni Morrison)

The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath)

Where the Red Fern Grows (Wilson Rawls)

The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)

Franny and Zooey (J.D. Salinger)

Nine Stories (J.D. Salinger)

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight (Jennifer E. Smith)

Stargirl (Jerry Spinelli)

Girl in Hyacinth Blue (Susan Vreeland)

Affinity (Sarah Waters)

Some of them may have scribbles in them from surviving various university classes, but they are all in good to good-as-new condition.

Happy reading!

~Micah